Good Things

April 9, 2010 Good Things

Here are the top ten things I found out on the Internet today:

1.  There is hand-drawn Rugrats fanfic porn, and you don’t want to see it.

2.  Everything about men in the 70s is attractive–tight pants, little scarves, bold colors, creepy tans, lots of hair (chest and head.)  This is good.

3.  Fox News might say batshit things about Obama all the time, but when I get scared I just need to remember the Clinton era, when all this same stuff went down.

4.  I never realized the “Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima” photo was the second flag raising that day, not the first, and that the song “The Ballad of Ira Hayes” was about one of those men.

5.  The New Orleans Mardi Gras krewes (a krewe is a group that helps organize the Saint season festivities; some krewes are hundreds of years old) include a “Mardi Gras Indians” krewe.  The Mardi Gras Indians are mostly black, and they have been sewing extremely elaborate Native-American-inspired costumes for generations.  Competition about the costumes is so intense that some Mardi Gras Indians want to copyright their designs.

6.  An article in the Economist said that there are so many young black men currently incarcerated that it creates a huge gender disparity in the black community, especially when it comes to dating.  This is like how there are almost no girls in China, due to the one kid rule (and parents choosing to have boys), so any girls that are around get treated like hot stuff.  The author of the article thinks we should quit incarcerating people for drug-related offenses so we can fix this.  I probably agree, although it’s not a simple a problem as it initially seems–the drug trade is quite violent, and drugs themselves cause systemic problems.  The real problem is the class system.

7.  There’s going to be an animated sitcom version of Star Wars.  I’m supposed to write a funny article about this.  I don’t know what to say.  I hate George Lucas and I just want to take Star Wars out behind the barn and shoot it.  I want to do this to George Lucas as well.

8.  There’s a weird blog I’m supposed to be trying to get on but I think it’s pretty dumb and that the owner is aggressively unfunny.  However, the gig would be making fun of ads, and it would be (very, very, very poorly) paid.  Wouldn’t be a job but it would be coffee money, so I should have sent the guy a sample today.  He’s really not funny though, so I’m not sure if he would be able to tell if I was funny or not.  He thinks he’s funny though, which is always problematic.  I hate men who think they are funny more than anything.  They’re always looking at you after they make a joke, in order to see if you produce the right reaction.  It makes me feel like my face/emotions are being molested.  BTW, I am exactly this kind of man, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t hate this kind of man, as long as I remember to hate myself a lot too.  Jed’s dad said my chart has certain similarities to Charles Manson’s, so it’s to be expected.

9.  When Japanese kids dress up like surfers they are called Ganguros.  Yes, this trend is old.

10.  There’s some sci-fi epic called “Blood and Salt” that is all about what might have happened if most of the Europeans had died off in the Black Plague.  It’s supposed to be good, but not as good as an earlier work by the same author with apparently the exact same premise, except that in this scenario only a third of the Europeans have died off.  I think Ross should read this and I might read it too.

Tags: Hey Arnold porn, idiocracy, long flowing locks, Rugrats porn, The Internet

• 3 comments
• Posted under Mar Posts